Being a Black Girl in Istanbul and other stories

Living and working in Istanbul has been one of the most interesting experiences in my life. Regardless of the advice I received from friends before coming here, nothing prepared me adequately for what I have experienced thus far. So, let me break it down, I will try and shed some light on how life is as a black girl in Istanbul;

1. If you are wondering whether Turkish people are racist, in my opinion, they are not. I have 9 more months in this country, so maybe that opinion might change, but they truly are not racist. That is mainly because as I have come to realize, most Turkish people have not really been exposed to various cultures, especially Africans, that much. So when they see a dark skinned person, they truly marvel at the sight (that is just a polite way of me saying they will stare at you, long and hard). That brings me to my next point;

2. Getting used to long and hard stares. This is the most hilarious and, at the same time, annoying part of being in this country as a black girl. Woe unto you black girls who hate being stared at! If there is something Turkish people don’t get tired of doing it is staring! You will experience old men looking at you like you are some sort of rare artifact, like a shiny jewel, completely amazed and the old women follow suit. The younger and middle aged people will stare only up until you give them a stone-faced look, then they look away immediately. Just yesterday I was helping my Ghanaian friend move houses; we stepped out of the cab and started unpacking her luggage at the new house and this lady (looked like she was not older than 55) LITERALLY stops dead on her tracks, in the middle of the road, and looks at us for a solid 10 minutes. Just staring, nothing more. She looked like she was sort of holding her breath, or maybe she was mortified, it was hard to tell. But I always giggle when I remember her. So that happens on the regular, every single damn place, metro, in the bus, streets, supermarkets- everywhere. Sometimes its annoying, sometimes you feel flattered. Happens to the boys too.

3. Most people are super curious about where you come from. But that just happens everywhere, not just Turkey. There is a 90% chance that they will ask what country you are from. If you get to have a longer conversation, they will ask about how things are in your country. I really like how they know that they don’t know and ask. In other countries I have been they would simply make assumptions and ask me if they were correct, case in point, I have never been asked if I have a pet lion in my backyard or if I live in the slum, yet. That is a good sign. They always ask before coming to such a conclusion.

4. Most people marvel at your natural afro hair. Especially if you have braids on, I think most people cannot wrap their minds around how your hair can be made into braids or why your hair is so different, so they may try to pull your hair (the mannerless ones) or ask you a lot of questions about it. Same applies to any kind of natural afro hair style, most ladies actually like it. One lady told me she prefers my natural hair to hers(she was Caucasian with long silky black hair), I told her she has no idea what kind of struggle I go through while combing it in the morning and how, if I run out of pot scouring pad, I might as well use a portion of my hair to scrub off stubborn stains on pots owing to how tough my hair is. She thought I was joking, I gave her a comb to try and comb my hair,the comb broke, she said nothing else.

5. The only dark side of being a black girl is Istanbul is harassment. Anticipate it, it has happened to many girls here, unfortunately. This is actually a problem for every girl who is a foreigner here but as a black person you stand out and hence it might happen to you quite often. Some foolish Turkish men think all girls who are foreigners are promiscuous and hence you will not mind if they groped you. For black girls, it doesn’t help that there a lot of prostitutes who are black and hence some dense Turkish men will think you are a prostitute at first sight. They will stalk you, ask to sleep with you, follow you almost till your doorstep still asking if they can sleep with you. Of course this is far from the ideal, but it will happen. One common way to pull through is wearing an Iron face (no more smiley faces, even on the good days), all the time, hoping that the face will somehow intimidate the douche bag to leave you alone. Ignore his cat-calls, I mean act like a deaf person, don’t flinch, don’t look back, don’t smile, don’t change face or behavior. Keep walking and act like he has not just asked to have sex with you or called you a whore. Grow some good thick skin. If he draws closer as if trying to grop you, unleash the Omni-potent Pepper spray, pepper spray is your friend. Spray it generously on his face, aim at the eyes, that should do it, then run, at ‘Kenyan marathon runner’ speed. Sad but true.

However, this is not something that Turks are proud of or happy about, every time I tell a Turkish person of such incidences they get really embarrassed and sorry because most Turks are really hospitable and kind people.

6. Afro hair salons. There are coming up but still very few. I know of only one in Istanbul, in an area called Yenikapi, a 10 minute walk from Yenikapi metro station. A Nigerian guy runs the shop and he does everything, from braids to relaxing your hair, to cutting men’s hair, he is my hair angel in Istanbul. It does cost a tidy sum to get your hair braided here (mostly more than 100 lira)  but it is fairly cheaper to maintain relaxed hair (to my amazement) as regular treatment and perming does not cost that much(costed 30 lira to relax hair at this salon).

Well, all other experiences are not any different from other foreigners’ experiences in Istanbul. This place is not heaven,  but somehow a midst all these peculiar situations, you will learn to cope and you will love this place. Remember if all else fails;

It’s never that serious.